Hello, I am basically a gal who loves God, her family and of course her dear dear Clark. Hmm not to forget my friends too! Currently in the process of finding out what she really wants to do for her life and prays that everyday is a good day with all her loved ones. :)

Time: 11:35 pm @ home on Sat evening

Just back from Derrick's wedding. Feeling awkward at times during the wedding but still am happy that he has found his happiness!

Time: 9:51pm @ home on Friday night

This is my second year in the primary school and how time flies! Compared to my experience at HGV, this is definitely way better. The workload is heavier but the people in general are much nicer at the moment. But because of my experience back then, I would constantly be reminded of my mistakes. But in general I learned not to be controlled by that and understand that life is much much more than that.

For the past month, I learnt to let go of many many self imposed expectations and practice more and more self-care. Please pray for journey mercy for us as well as we travel to Taiwan at year end!

Time: 4:20pm on Youth Day Monday at Dear's car

Spent most of the day doing my work at ECP Starbucks. Originally I felt great because I really love working by the sea. Then when I spoke on the phone with Javen's Mother I was kind of reminded of my own inadequacies and dislikes of the job. I don't think I will ever be really detailed person.

Coupled the fact that I waited for Dear for a very Long time I became a bit Sian. I was however more affected by the phone call. Because it brings me back to the same question. To stay or to leave?

How do i conclude 2009?

hmm this question came to my mind
when i was talking to jeff on msn
truth is i had been emo-ing ard... and
even as I was typing down here... i still feel it

truth is also i could garner my courage
and decides to be happy despite all things
and believing that there's a solution for everything
or i could just let fear and the emo-ness consume me and eat me up or rather gobble me up. i have a choice to be patient and wait happily... i guess

i m speaking in parables in my blog... try not to ask me wat it means...

Ok so i have decided to be Happy.

ok back to the topic too. how do i conclude 2009?

Not exactly a fair topic to discuss now since there is still some days away before 2009 ends but time really flies. It seems like not too long ago that i was still counting down with my frens for 2008 and now it's 2009's turn.

as i was recounting my 2009...
most of the images were quite horrible
my dad, my fears, the stress for my fyp, etc
truth is









































Some time back last year (which was really only a few weeks back) haha
yanli and i met up and we went to this place that i saw on someone's food blog
i always admire the efforts of people introducing and writing about food places
in their blogs regularly. I wouldn't really have that kind of effort to do that
but i enjoyed reading theirs because i get to be introduced to many food places because of that.

Anyway we found ourselves at a cafe called Strictly pancakes at prinsep street on this fine day.













Time: 10:31 am @ 313 Starbucks on Wednesday morning

Third day of my 14 days leave. Just brought the kids to the malacca and back on last Saturday.
I must say I felt much more balanced during this holidays so far especially now that both kids are in school during the day time.

Monday was colouring and highlighting my hair to red and purple. This was followed by the show wonder woman next. Not too bad but I find the formula similar to the marvel movies and really don't quite understand whats the woo ha about.

Tuesday was dear and me going to JE market to find local food and cooking steamed egg with minced meat and stir fried minced meat with potato for the 2 kiddos.

Wednesday right now is me in a starbucks cafe (after what seemed like ages) and penning my thoughts down after such a hectic semester and everyday life.

I have been battling with anxiety and at times depression ever since Joie was born. There were conflicts with mil during the first 2 years or so as she was helping me with the taking care of the children. That coupled with the stress from work (super happy when i left my previous workplace) and the lack of me time, I unofficially declare that I was/maybe still am burnt out. It took me a long while to figure out what's really wrong with myself. It's rather scary to think that I am no longer looking forward to anything. I am just down and moody for a long while. i think fourfeetnine can pen down the feelings much better than me but yeah I was really burnt out.

After knowing what's really happening to me things got a little better. No wonder it's always important to take time to diagnose the condition. Only then you can solve the problem by its root issue. Believe me I went to a lot of doctors asking for many different opinions and medication to try to help myself in this area.

It only got better in the last few months but I know it's not fully resolved yet and honestly I am not sure when will that happen. I am learning though to take it easy and to celebrate little success or to allow myself to indulge in that feeling when I am feeling excited about things.

I felt that having the 'me time' is not just an luxury for myself but that it's critical to my well-being. and hence I have taken many steps to try to achieve that. Another idea that I am toying with is just to take a break from my current work. It's honestly very hectic and sometimes pressurizing. but I am not sure how to ensure that we still get the money coming in. We don't earn little but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I am also planning to take up new skills for me to explore.

I am thankful to God for seeing me through this difficult period. I pray that I will emerge wiser, stronger, healthier, happier and simply less fearful.

and pray for journey mercy for the upcoming trip to HK!












It was another difficult day with 6.1. Actually not all is bad with this class. Call them malicious? I think they are still very far away compared Putra's batch of the 1NA students.